So read on avid followers.
Arrows and assholes will be explained in good time.
When I last left you I was struggling to stay awake at a Danish dinner party and successfully enabling my habit of procrastination.
Monday and Tuesday were days of successful academia, cheap snacks, and coffee.
And of course the attempted planning of our spring break. [did I mention that we're going to Barcelona and Lisbon? And the lord said, thine glowing white flesh shall be revealed to the Europeans lying upon beaches. And those who do not heed the public health warning of the suns harmful rays upon thine eyes will surely go blind looking upon the bright flesh of the pale tourist.]
Wednesday was another early morning with a class visit to an international PR firm.
Working with your client is basically like modern day dating- you don't usually want to offer up ideas to the client at your first meeting the same way you probably don't want to do the horizontal tango with somebody on the first date. Both things are only supposed to get better with time and established trust. (or so I hear)
This what I took away from the meeting.
That and the largest and most fabulously buttery croissant I've ever had.
Thursday morning I wake up at 5:15am, and of course I've never been crankier happier or looked more like Chewbacca after a one night stand so fresh.
Our bus is late. Of course.
We drive to a regional station of TV2- a news and small television show production company.
The drive there consists of an entire bus of sleeping people, and the last thirty minutes is a small history lesson in the massive exportation of pig bits around the world.
Because we are late to the station, we are late to lunch [an odd buffet of very Danish food. I avoid the salmon and I'm pretty sure I ate, and enjoyed, liver paste.]
After we are late to lunch we are late to the branding company Designit- a place where everyone is cool and the every job and office is funky.
They give me a coke, so I listen attentively to the presentation.
They also give me a free little stress square that says witty things.
We proceed from Designit to our hostel, where I am placed in a room with 5 other girls that I was previously quite unfamiliar with.
We hitch a ride with a different group of DIS students into the city so we can save the 20K for beer and not spend it on the bus.
Our group separates to eat dinner, and then approximately half of us are reunited at bar where much drinking and bonding goes on.
I am tucked into the hostel bed that I am ignorantly assuming will not give me bed bugs by 11 o clock. And it is beautiful.
Still wondering about the asshole/arrow situation?
HA keep reading.
Friday we awaken and I eat enough bread at breakfast to challenge that story that Jesus ever fed everyone with seven loaves of bread. [which he totally did. I'm sure. The story just would have ended differently if I had been there- i.e. he would have been trying to feed everyone on the single loaf I left him. And this is all on the standards of my bread consumption at this one breakfast. I probably shouldn't jump to such sacrilegious conclusions.]
We go the modern art museum where I, along with many small Danish children in one piece snowsuits, excitedly explore the interactive rainbow exhibit. [it's a large installment at the top of the museum- a large ring, if you will, with windows fading from one color of the rainbow to another. SO COOL.]
And then we enter a disorienting room filled with fog and view a giant sculpture.
The giant sculpture is a boy who eerily looks like my little brother and looms over the viewers.
We look at the video installments on the bottom floor, and this is when modern "art" goes so far over my head, it might as well be one of this dead stars.
A video of an Amish man getting stripped and chased with an ET mask on his head? I really just don't get it. Call me crazy.
My lunch is a smoothie and piece of spice cake with cream cheese frosting. I have no complaints.
We bus to Horsen, the town that was known only for it's large prison and crime rate that completely changed it's image. [I think I've solved the problem in Detroit! But I'll save my optimistic theorizing for another day.]
We go from the little city that could to town of Jelling, where some vikings carved some stuff into some big rocks in honor of his parents.
That and apparently a viking king was assassinated as he took a shit over the side of a cliff via an arrow into his asshole.
I told you I would get there!
Our professor laughs and suggests that this might not be true.
Our tour guide is legitimately offended.
We go out into the cold and look at the rock with the gaelic inscription and climb the giant hill that took between 4-6 years to build.
We have to slide down the hill because no one thought through the snow/stairs situation.
Dinner is on DIS and we are late.
We walk from the hostel [that didn't know we were coming, bee-tee-dubs (which is btw, which is by-the-way for anyone confused by phonetic typing of a texting abbreviation.) and we get lost on the walk.
Our professor knocks on the door of a strange woman who refuses to open her door and instead opens her window, and every time the professor leans in, she takes a step back.
A 45 minute, hungry walk later, we arrive at the restaurant/bar/nightclub where we are served STEAK. Cooked to a beautiful medium rare and served with french fries.
And DIS pays for our first drink, and most of us get a long island iced tea which is delicious, strong, and costs 165K.
Thanks DIS!
The rest of the night includes, but not limited to, and in no specific order:
a cheap local bar that runneth over with dancing DIS students, the macarena, shots, dancing with professors, and again crawling into a bed that I pretend is as clean as the Queen would want it.
Saturday morning leaves a lot of people exhausted and a trip to a design museum where the first 30 minutes of the tour is spent looking at "famous" chairs doesn't help.
The controversial photography exhibit is worth the trip though- who knew that so many mothers would take erotic pictures of their eight year old daughter.
We bus to lunch- a fancy-schmancy hotel feeds us herring, fried something, pork something, and bread. As well as a dessert with ice cream, berries, and crepes.
Talk about a girl gettin her nom on.
After lunch we drive back into Copenhagen, where I, exhausted, and fresh with the voice of a smoker because of a developing cold, get on the train home.
SURPRISE I'M PREGNANT.
I kid.
Nowhere near pregnant, Mom and Dad. I promise.
I was just wondering if you were still reading this.
And if you are, I can honestly say you deserve to go pour yourself a drink and turn on some intellectual television. Or watch Jersey Shore.
Anything to cleanse your palate of this Sarah/Smaki overdose.
8:55pm Denmark
2:55pm USA
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